This is why we can’t have nice things. Ruxin stroked out. Kevin got everyone busted for redrawing the draft order, and Andre still doesn’t have an ICE. How can we save this season? We all got a bit of a scare in the last episode. Could Ruxin be dead? Will his face really stick like…… Continue reading The League S03E13: The Funeral for Kevin’s Championship [Season 3 Finale]
Tag: quotes
The League S03E12: St. Pete commits Shivacide, Ruxin commits Strokicide
Whether it’s karma or the careful plotting of the rest of the league, Ruxin’s had a string of bad luck ever since he brought home the championship last season. He hits rock bottom in this, the last episode before the season finale. It’s easy to say he had it coming. I mean, he ended last…… Continue reading The League S03E12: St. Pete commits Shivacide, Ruxin commits Strokicide
The League S03E11: The Guest Bong takes Taco TO THE CLOUD!
Pete’s general lack of ambition and disheveled appearance certainly don’t hinder his ability with the ladies. His prowess is best displayed in his uncanny ability to “outkick his coverage” with each girl he brings around. Danielle, his latest catch, is just another example of his ability to go above and beyond. Kudos to him. But she’s…… Continue reading The League S03E11: The Guest Bong takes Taco TO THE CLOUD!
The League S03E10: The Light of Genesis be with you, praise be
Ruxin is an evil soul, but even those most evil of forces cannot be denied salvation. Ruxin finds it himself and a possible deliverance from fantasy suffering when a chance encounter with the brethren of The Light of Genesis, arranged by Pete as part of a prank war between he and Ruxin, exposes him to…… Continue reading The League S03E10: The Light of Genesis be with you, praise be
The League S03E09: “The Out of Towner” on Cocaine
Since The League first aired, I’ve always been curious what life was like for the out-of-town league members while Ruxin, Pete, Kevin, Jenny, Taco, and Andre trash-talk and prank each other in Chicago. In “The Out of Towner,” we finally got a chance to peel back the curtain and meet Chuck, one of the nameless league…… Continue reading The League S03E09: “The Out of Towner” on Cocaine
The League S03E08: Thanksgiving brings family together (for tur-guinea)
Jeff Goldblum and Sarah Silverman?! It truly is a time for Thanksgiving. And this year, we give thanks for awkward family reunions (and guinea pigs). To celebrate the season, Ellie volunteered to take care of the class guinea pig over the Thanksgiving break. Personally, I think it’s never a good idea for a kid to…… Continue reading The League S03E08: Thanksgiving brings family together (for tur-guinea)
The League S03E07: Carmenjello kills zipper fairies
What have we not ruined of Ruxin’s yet? Sex life? So let’s get right on that by having his wife Sofia accuse him of “breast favoritism” and shut him down for the night. But we’re not just picking on Ruxin this episode. Kevin’s got his own problems in the bedroom because Ellie’s room is under…… Continue reading The League S03E07: Carmenjello kills zipper fairies
The League S03E06: Yobogoya! Will Destroy Ya
This episode brought both the shits and the giggles. Literally. The season is all about destroying Ruxin — body, mind and what’s left of his soul. I’m sure somewhere in The Art of War it details exactly the strategy Ruxin’s faced through the first half of this season. First, you crush their spirit by ruining their…… Continue reading The League S03E06: Yobogoya! Will Destroy Ya
The League S03E05: Bobbum Man joins MyFace for Kevin and Jenny’s Sexiversary
Since The League already destroyed the nurturing educational foundation of Ruxin’s child and Ruxin’s life in his own home, it seems we, at long last, are left with little but the mental side of Ruxin’s fantasy football game on our path to deconstructing Ruxin this season. Ruxin’s leaving points on his bench, and the stress…… Continue reading The League S03E05: Bobbum Man joins MyFace for Kevin and Jenny’s Sexiversary
The League S03E04: Kevin’s Ol’ Smoke Crotch and Golden Gating with Rafi
It seems Ruxin’s finally paying for all his misdeeds this season…or could it be that there’s a Madden curse hex on the champion of the league? Andre did get a taste of his own medicine when he defiled the trophy after winning the last year. So far in Ruxin’s reign, his son has missed his chance…… Continue reading The League S03E04: Kevin’s Ol’ Smoke Crotch and Golden Gating with Rafi